An 11:30 morning start down in Hampshire means an early departure from SW London, Cat kindly took Cheffry, Kami and Lav down in Red Rod the BMW, Cat got us there in ample time. The morning had started with a text from Cousin David, we need Port, cricket spikes and jumpers. On arrival we knew what he meant about extra jumpers its was frigid and windy. After a late dropout, enter Cousin David who has added to his lineage, with keeper Chicken Drumsticks and quick Power Ranger. Hog’s has been a fixture since 2011, with the Hogs slightly ahead on wins.

Cousin David inducting Drumsticks into the Pecker fold

John Portal won the toss and, without a moment’s hesitation, elected to bat. In a timed match, that decision carries particular weight — bat too long and you leave insufficient time to bowl the opposition out; declare too early and you hand them a gettable target. As it turned out, Portal read the conditions well and Henners would have batted as well.

Peckers into the field, beanies, long sleeves and jumpers for the bracing wind. Dom Titcomb and Henry Lewis strode out to face Cousin and The Power Ranger.
At the heart of the batting was Dom Titcomb, who produced one hell of a knock, considering in the second over he reached for one outside off and claimed to have done his back in. His magnificent 111 not out off 135 balls, studded with 18 boundaries, was a masterclass in concentration, skill, and sheer determination.
Henry Lewis also set the tone admirably alongside him, the pair combining for a healthy 40-run opening stand that immediately vindicated the Hogs captain’s decision to bat first. Lewis’s 16 off 29 was a composed and watchable knock — until The Power Ranger, on debut for the Woodpeckers, produced the delivery to end it, announcing himself on the Pecker stage after Cous had pulled rank and made him toil up the hill. The Big Blonde was immaculately tidy throughout his 5 overs — conceding just 14 runs and creating pressure that was every bit as valuable as wickets.

The call to arms on the Whatsapp group was clear

The middle order then encountered some tidy and disciplined bowling from Chefry, who simply did his job — kept it tight, stayed in his channel, and was perhaps fortunate enough to pick up a few wickets along the way. These things have a habit of evening themselves out over a season, and Chefry would be the first to acknowledge that on another day those same deliveries might have gone unpunished. William Jonas (2) and Alex Ross (3) both departed before captain John Portal contributed a measured 10 off 26 before being pinned lbw. Rob Portal then chipped in with 5 before Henners produced two sharp deliveries that accounted for him and Charlie Parkinson in quick succession. Henners getting two wickets in an over
It was at this point — with the innings in a precarious state and the scoreboard looking somewhat thin — that Fin Patterson-Thick made his way to the crease to join Titcomb. What followed was a partnership that would prove pivotal not just in terms of runs, but in terms of what it survived. The two batsmen navigated a testing spell before lunch, soaking up pressure, seeing off the bowling, and crucially — carrying the innings to the interval still intact, the pair had done their job admirably, and the mood in the Hampshire Hogs camp had lifted considerably as they sat down to what awaited them. Special note on Lav he bowled three overs only going for 9 runs and was the only Pecker not to own (beg or borrow) a jumper.

Lunch: A Splendid Interlude
Upon arriving back to the Pavilion we were served a wonderful lunch, served by Hog’s President himself what an honour, little did we know that lunch would go on to until 3:45.
Two hours and fifteen minutes of rain-enforced leisure is, in lesser hands, a frustration. In Pecker hands, it was a triumph. The table feasted under the weight of poached trout — delicate, perfectly prepared, and exactly the sort of thing that reminds you cricket is, at its heart, a civilised pursuit. Alongside it, a potato salad as well as pasta salad and a crisp green salad .. The main course gave way, as all good lunches must, to a cheese board of Stilton, Brie and fine cheddar, accompanied by Cheffry’s 2012 Malvedos port and Theakston ales that warmed the soul given what awaited outside. The afternoon was about to get considerably more demanding.
The lunch interval produced one further development that, depending on who you ask, either made complete sense or none whatsoever. Somewhere between the poached trout and the cheese board, Cousin relieved Henners of the captaincy. The precise mechanics of this transition remain, at the time of writing, somewhat unclear. Whether it was negotiated over port, debated during the salad course, or simply settled by the time the ales arrived, nobody present has yet offered a fully satisfactory account. What is known is that both men emerged from lunch as gentlemen, that the matter appears to have been concluded with the minimum of fuss, and that Cousin took to the field thereafter as captain with the quiet authority of a man who had been waiting for precisely this moment — possibly for some time. Hampshire Hogs, to their credit, appeared entirely untroubled by the change of command. Some transitions are seamless. This, by all accounts, was one of them, classic Cousin.
By the time the rain relented and play was called for 3:45, both sides had been fed, watered, captaincy redistributed, and — play on, Hogs would pull the trigger at 4pm and we had ourselves a game.

Cat giving his paw of approval on Instagram

Drumsticks asking Cousin how much he has consumed…

Resuming after the interval, new captain Cousin rang in the changes with the ball — introducing Stevie Wonder Fromage , Merry and Cat into the attack in an attempt to find a breakthrough against the immovable Titcomb and the stubbornly resistant Patterson-Thick. All three gave it everything. Stevie Wonder Fromage single over cost 13, Merry’s went for 12, and Cat— bowling through what must by now have been a rather sore paw — conceded 12 from his solitary over. None of them could separate the partnership, and it is a testament to Titcomb and Patterson-Thick that three fresh bowlers, brought on with intent, could make no impression whatsoever. The Woodpeckers had tried everything. The partnership simply refused to yield.
And that, ultimately, was the story of the afternoon. Titcomb, already well into three figures, batted with the authority of a man who had been in all day and intended to stay considerably longer. Patterson-Thick, for his part, occupied the crease with magnificent stubbornness — his unbeaten 5 off 22 balls worth its weight in port and cheese. Together they put on an outstanding 72 runs for the final wicket, pushing the total to a point where the declaration became not just possible but compelling. Hog’s stayed true to their word and declared at 4pm.

Hog’s 177/7dec 40 overs. Dom Titcomb 111 not out.

Cousin 0/14, Power Ranger 2/36, Cheffry 3/38, Henners 2/17

The Field-The Unsung Heroes
If the batting told the story of the scoreboard, the fielding told the story of the team — and it was a compelling one.
Felix was, without question, the fielding performance of the day — and the most talked-about headwear of the season. Stepping onto the field wearing a floppy Tribute beer hat — pulled on with the quiet confidence of a man paying his respects in the most stylish way he knows — Felix immediately announced himself as someone playing the game on his own terms.

Sticks was making his debut for the Woodpeckers behind the stumps — and what a debut it was to be thrown into. Keeping wicket to a varied and testing attack, on a difficult surface, against a batsman of Titcomb’s quality, is not assignment for the faint-hearted. If the ball occasionally had other ideas about where it wanted to go rather than nestling obediently into his gloves, nobody who has ever kept wicket on debut in such conditions could hold it against him. Sticks kept his energy up, kept his chat going, and kept his chin up throughout.
In the slips, Kami was, as ever, the picture of composed proper cricketer. Moving crisply, positioning himself with quiet authority, and taking his catch with the minimum of fuss. He looked, as he always does, as though he was rather enjoying himself. Some people are built for days like this. Kami is one of them.
And finally, Stevie Wonder Fromage — resplendent in his shades, electric from the first over to the last. Whether it was the sunglasses that granted him his particular aura of cool-headed brilliance, or simply the natural magnetism of a man born to patrol a cricket outfield, Stevie was a constant presence — dynamic, decisive, and impeccably accessorised throughout. If Cat owned the floppy Tribute beer hat and Kami owned the cordon, Stevie Wonder Fromage owned everything else. Some players field. Stevie Fromage performs.

The best image I could find of what Cats hat looked like.

Perckers Response.

If Hampshire Hogs’ innings was a slow-burn epic, Woodpeckers’ reply was an absolute assault.
The architect of the carnage was Kamikaze, who had been the picture of composed excellence in the slips just hours earlier. Apparently untroubled by the minor matter of having already fielded for most of the afternoon, Kami walked out and produced one of the most extraordinary innings you are likely to see at this level. His fifty came up in just 28 balls. It was, in a word, outrageous. In several words, it was the kind of innings that makes opposing captains stare at the pitch and wonder what, precisely, they could have done differently.
Cat gave him excellent company at the top, contributing a brisk 23 off 24 balls before being bowled by Alex Ross — the only wicket Hampshire Hogs could manage all afternoon, and one Ross will have taken considerable satisfaction from. The first wicket fell at 90, which tells you all you need to know about the tempo at which The Peckers had set about their task. They had reached 48 without loss after just 4.4 overs — play briefly interrupted there for a lost ball — and were already 82 without loss by the 8.3 over mark when a second lost ball mercifully broke the rhythm, if only momentarily.
With Cat gone, out walked Princess eager to impress his girlfriend who just loves cricket, NOT, Princess clearly hadn’t received the memo that a target of 176 in a timed match was supposed to offer at least some resistance. He made 51 not out off 51 balls — 6 fours, 2 sixes, a strike rate of exactly 100 — and the second wicket partnership of 91 between him and Kami was put together in just 44 balls. The 150 came up in the 18th over. The winning runs followed soon after. Tension was high at the end as it looked like Princess would deny Kami his hundred by hogging the strike….

THE WINNING MOMENT AND A HISTORIC MOMENT FOR KAMIKAZE

Kami ended 104 not out off just 60 balls — 14 fours, 5 sixes, a strike rate of 173.33, and the quiet, unhurried demeanour of a man doing something he had been planning since approximately the second over of Hampshire Hogs’ innings, that was to finally and deservedly make his first ever Pecker century on the most glorious of stages.
Hampshire Hogs’ bowlers gave it everything. Seb Norris (3-0-36-0), Rob Portal (4-0-26-0), Fin Patterson-Thick (4-0-39-0), John Portal (2-0-8-0), Charlie Parkinson (3-0-21-0), N Trowbridge (1-0-12-0) and George Wills (1.1-0-12-0) You have to feel for Merry he had his pads on for over 40 minutes, and was of course not needed to perform.

Kami celebrates his first ever Pecker ton

The bonus of winning early was we could take tea at 5:45pm, Cousin’s video describes the spread on offer. So in summary we have won four in row for the 2026 season, two on home soil and two in Spain, a great start to the season next up Dunsfold. Special mention to The Hampshire Hogs, their hospitality was first rate, Theakston and Flowers Pots was a very nice touch indeed, and great that Princess's dad and his girlfriend Liv made the journey down, and Plant made a late appearance as well.