Once again, a descent of Woodpeckers made the difficult journey away from the A3 heartlands to the delightful Withyham CC to contest the Tom Saxty Memorial Cup. Tom is fondly remembered by all who knew him (& even some of us that didn’t through wonderful stories from the likes of POBsy) and as usual numbers were high both for supporters, and for Withyham players looking to be selected to take down the Peckers, current holder of the Cup.

In order to make our way to the wilderness of Kent, various combinations of transport were required. Borgav took the trophy for most arduous journey, travelling up from Southampton where he had been directing the Women’s World Cup, he had to sprint through Clapham Junction to just make a train carrying Snax & Kami (referred to as “me/I” from now on as I can’t work out the best way round the 1st/3rd person dilemma we all face writing these reports).

*Gav taking us through stories of his younger years playing round Kent with Life President*

Via a couple of changeovers and a thorough discussion on the England team for the Oval test, we arrived at Ashurst station where we were met by the Otto fleet. Otto had raised numbers en masse from Sevenoaks including Gem, Bonotty-Boo and 2 debutants, ‘Top Cat/TC’ and ‘Plotto’ (not their Christian names but there’s no point informing you of them). Once we found some signal, we eventually convoyed off in the right direction to The Bear for pre-match refreshments. Unfortunately, the delightful Dorset Arms had a kitchen fire recently so we could not make our yearly pilgrimage, but The Bear was a more than satisfactory replacement.

We found a good spot in the sun to enjoy an apple juice (Bonotty-Boo), an alcohol free cider (team Sevenoaks) or a decent handful of beers (yours truly). The Bear supplied both delectable food with varying runniness of yolks in the scotch eggs and entertainment for the youngest in our contingent. The entertainment was in the form of a Winnie The Pooh jigsaw, ages 5+. Bonotty-Boo and I decided on a maverick strategy, doing away with the tried and tested method of starting with the edge pieces, we located all the pieces including Tigger. However we came unstuck almost immediately as it transpired that in the box was actually three jigsaws, therefore three Tiggers. It was remarked by a number of those present that a structural engineer should be able to find their way round a jigsaw for five-year-olds, but I challenge any of you reading this to go to The Bear and try it for yourself, looks can be deceiving.

*Before that dastardly jigsaw wiped the smiles from our faces*

As we were enjoying our refreshments, we were joined by our third Pecker debutant. Born from the Tripod tree, no nickname was required Willie rolled up in a classic car more fit for Goodwood than pub car parks. While it may look stunning and the weather was perfect to get the top down, the storage provisions were not exactly ample, and Willie’s kit bag had to be bungee-corded to the rear bumper.

Mike the Withyham skipper and POBsy finally put their feet down and instructed us to make our way to the ground as the Saxty Cup was not going to be awarded for most pre-match pints (we’d have won BTW). To our horror we chucked the postcode into google maps and we had a further 35 minute drive ahead of us, we had been assured The Bear was “just round the corner” so were a bit miffed we had a drive ahead of us. Turns out I had my maps set to walking rather than driving and we got to the ground in 3 minutes flat, I think we can blame the jigsaw for scrambling my brain (definitely not the minesweeping of beers).

Making your way down the drive at the Earl’s estate is one of the most scenic of views throughout the Pecker season, the pitch was looking splendid and the car park full of supporters. POBsy did a whip-round asking if we wanted to bat or bowl first and Mike did a whip round asking us to buy raffle tickets. More on the raffle later but I think it’s safe to say we were less than helpful with regards to the toss decision. It was probably for the best the decision was taken out of our skipper’s hands and Mike chose to bat first.

With a rapidly drying wicket, bright conditions with no cloud cover and Biceps walking in to bat we knew we had to start well with the brand-new Readers. Otto opened up from the pavilion end and was paired with TC. Otto pounded in hard and looked set for a spell of top-class swing bowling to make inroads into he Withyham top order. Sadly, his knee had other ideas, and we lost the leader of our attack after only 1 completed over. Otto had to spend the rest of his afternoon icing and elevating his knee while simultaneously stopping Harry the dog making a nuisance of himself in the various picnics of the home fans.

Deggsy-Tripod stepped in to deliver some banana swing, he and TC bowled tight areas giving no quarter to the batsmen. Unfortunately, Biceps didn’t agree with my synopsis and managed to regularly find the boundary from balls that to most batters we face would be dots. Snax replaced TC and didn’t bowl badly but unfortunately met the same fate, still no wickets for the Peckers. The skipper seems to think that I am now a seam bowler following the last coupe of weeks, I put this nonsense to bed with easily the worst two overs of our effort, digging one in on a soft slow deck against a man on 60 odd isn’t to be advised FYI.

We had the luxury of SP returning to the fold, not sure he would have quite appreciated being brought on just as Biceps was moving into fifth gear and was deposited for 6s just the same as the rest of us. The skipper brought himself on to try and find a way through the defences of the openers and bowled tightly (including our first and only maiden since over 3) but he could not prevent Biceps cruising to 100 and retiring out. His opening partner also retired himself on 60 and it seemed like batting first was probably the right decision at the toss.

Big Levers was next cab off the rank to bowl, he might have been brought on sooner but turner up over an hour late offering up various excuses including a non-existent road closure and a make-believe car crash blocking his way to the ground. In actual fact he had been viewing potential wedding venues for him and ‘Megatron’ (temporary pecker name until I think of something better). Willie behind the sticks saw the 6’4” Levers coming on to bowl and started moving 30 yards back from the sticks, however Levers bowls some of the slowest spin you have ever seen and Willie was informed he needed to stand up. His original position may have been the right one for the first ball as Levers sent a full toss way over both the batter and Willie. He eventually found the deck and managed to bowl one quick enough to dislodge the bails to claim our only wicket of the afternoon.

The rest of the innings was back to type and Withyham cruised to 251-1 off their 35 overs. After a long hot, muggy afternoon in the field a decent tea was desperately needed. As anyone who has play Withyham will tell you, we were not disappointed, tea of the season for the umpteenth year in a row for sure, Levers particularly enjoyed spreading pate onto his bread like a plasterer.

*A spread you can ctrl+c ctrl+v from last year*

Feeling hot, slightly too full and ready to get our heads down, Plotto and I strode out to face the music from the youthful Withyham bowling line up. I genuinely did have intentions of getting my head down and making a decent fist of a proper run chase, but after a forward defensive I was goaded by Biceps in the corden. So decided to try and whack it from ball 2. Up the other end Plotto was defending his stumps well through his sunglasses but was eventually given out bringing our Borgav. By this point the opening seamers had been replaced with some slower spin which was far too much thinking time for me and my strike rate plummeted. Borgav on the other hand took to the bowling with glee and started smashing it everywhere. This partnership was wonderful to watch and took us to 127-1 and up with the rate and various local sages including Lord William de la Warre worried. Withyham had their 80mph 16-year-old weapon up their sleeves (ironically Tom Saxty’s godson)

From one extreme to another, acting Withyham skipper Jacob (Mike decided they had enough runs and they took to the field with 10 players) brought himself one to bowl something slightly quicker from the other end. I snicked off for 76 and brought mr Lover-man Levers to the crease. He started well clipping it beautifully off his pads, unfortunately he fell victim to some Sunday umpiring and was given out LBW whilst 4 yards down the track. Borgav promptly followed levers back to the hutch and we were relying on the middle order to dig us out.

With Otto still nursing a sore knee Withyham donated one of their supporters to our batting effort, seemed like a good fit as he got an early boundary then out bowled with a horrible swipe. Our engine room of initials SP, TC and POB drilled some additional holes in our sinking ship, with the skipper’s dismissal the most memorable, a one-handed screamer in the covers. Tripod smoked a delightful four and was out the next ball leaving Willie and Snax to get us over the line. Incredibly with some quick running between the wickets, some heaves from Snax so big he swung himself off his feet and a cracking boundary from Willie it looked like we might just do it. Alas, Willie was fired out and we fell agonisingly short (80 runs) with local Inswinger Dan ‘Bunsen’ Hancock getting a five-for.

Well, that was the end of the Peckers winning streak, but the day was not about the cricket really, it was about remembering Tom. POBs and Mike regaled some stories of Tom and the Trophy changed hands, we’ll be back next to take it back and for many years to come.

*Mike found some clothes for the presentation this year*

Then it was time for the charity raffle and auction which the Peckers had donated prizes and bought many a ticket. Only notable win for the Peckers on the day was Megatron taking home the Tunbridge Wells edition of monopoly, better than a wicket easily.

The lovely Tullys -Theo who made wonderful tea, Chucker, Bruno and the youngest Ralph gazing admiringly at Tom Saxty’s godson Jacob

Any issues with the report, stick the scorebook though an AI engine of your choice xx