The May bank holiday Sunday brought us a boiling hot day at Ham Common with temperatures soaring as the day went on. The team met for some pre-match sharpeners at ‘The New Inn’ – a change of location to the usual ‘The Hand and Flower’ which is now shut for unknown reasons but some say was due to last year’s post-match celebrations.

Ham & Petersham won the toss and elected to bat despite our captain Muttley saying that we had a particularly strong batting line-up compared to an opposition side missing regular starters. It must be said that we played the entirety of the match with 10 players due to Tiddles transport problems in Wolverhampton.

If the Ham & Petersham top order had a plan it remained a closely guarded secret. Spinach set the tone with the very first delivery of consequence, trapping the opener for a duck and removing any pretence that this would be a long afternoon in the field. Our other opening bowling, GK Smeagol had figures of 2-4 after his first 3 overs (including a wicket maiden), consistently bowling a troubling line and length for the batsmen. Spinach bowled with good pace collecting 3 more wickets in his 3rd and 4th overs with Moley (wk) taking one of the best catches I have ever seen, diving full stretch to a flick down the leg side.

Ham and Petersham were reduced to rubble at 35-6 after only 7 overs – the lower order offered some slight resistance but Snax, Chef and Cat all bowled economically and chipped in with a wicket each; Chef deserved more than his 1-13 off 7 overs including maidens. Ham & Petersham all out for 115 in 24.4 overs.

A textbook delivery — length immaculate & line straight down the throat

Chef already thinking about his blue punisher at Glastonbury 2027

Chasing 116 in 35 overs was never going to be a problem for this Peckers batting lineup. Openers Borgav and Muttley provided a brisk, no nonsense start with an array of shots with Borgav in particular, hitting a couple of cover drives which Ian Bell would have been proud of. Borgav was looking good on 19 before being given LBW by Spinach - a truly shocking decision given he was advancing down the wicket.

Bison and Mama Cass were next to the crease finding the boundary with relative ease before Bison picked out square leg to depart for 17. Mama continued to power on crunching 2 humdingers to the leg side boundary that sounded like gunshots.

Mama Cass at the crease with plenty of suncream on the biceps

Mole was up next and closed out the chase in style – he smashed 5 boundaries in his 26* and brought home a convincing seven wicket victory for the Woodpeckers. Some cricket matches are tense, fingernail shredding affairs decided in the final over but this was not one of them.

Top contributions:

· Spinach: 4-40

· GK Smeagol: 3-14

· Mama Cass: 24*

· Moley: 26*

Man of the Match: Spinach

We returned to the pub after a delicious tea with Snax finding an alternative transport - It is unclear whether this was earned, demanded, or simply seized. He is Kingpin and he does what he wants: