It was wonderful to celebrate another fun and exciting cricket season for the Woodpeckers. My annual task and pleasure is to re-read the match reports from the season. The first report was from last year’ dinner and told a wonderful story of a record-breaking season and we which we won 10 games in a row, 7 to start the season and a highest ever margin of Victory .. I knew that I didn't have quite the material to work with in terms of success on the pitch but we'd still had tremendous fun doing it.

We did set one record very early in the season by arranging the club’s very first ever overseas tour f to Oporto Cricket and Lawn Tennis Club in April. I'd been trying to arrange it for seven years that had been stymied by covid etc. The tour was a wonderful occasion and will make it an objective to record some photos and stories on the website at some stage . John ‘Ducky’ Peters became we think the oldest pecker on record at 76(and still playing golf off nine), and there was also a 62 year age gap between himself and wheezy aka Vlad the inhaler.

When a wandering club has a record breaking season and publishes wonderful match reports to celebrate the fact, they better watch out for the following year. Our hosts remember and field much stronger teams and we struggled badly for a nasty patch in the summer. Tilford, Blackheath and Barnes Common all clubs we have a personal connection with fielded three of the strongest teams I can remember playing against. So we went to Marlow on August 4th trying to avoid a new record of seven losses in a row.Trash had brought a few ringers to help including Tweaker and Djogo. Woodpecker match reports are an excellent part of the season started by our wonderful LP and we honor the finest with the Pecker Pulitzer Prize. The writer for this Marlow game scribed a beauty.

Headmaster Twinkle receives the Pecker Pulitzer Prize

I will let the Headmaster tell the story from here.. Peckers batting 1st …’ cometh the hole, cometh the Mole! sure enough, in strode our talpidaeic hero to scratch a guard, adjust his sights, and commence what was to be his great dig. The first part of his rescue act was Rootish in its numbers with plenty of 1s and 2s with the odd boundary-finder thrown in for good measure While Moley tapped away at the bowler’s figures, Tweaker went for the heavy artillery, starting with a lovely cover drive for 4, before firing off several shells in the direction of the pavilion and river. Soon enough, though, the opening bowler Aslam had him caught off a feisty one for a threatening but short-lived 17; Aslam was now well warmed up and firing rockets himself.let off some big shots before missing a straight one which kept low, he claimed.-he added 8 and the Peckers opening gambit stood at 76 for 5 off the first 20 overs. ’ .,

‘Marlow may have been forgiven for thinking this was going to be a slow morning. They had dealt with the Trash after all, but were not expecting at this point a visit from the Milkman, who stole in quietly and began to take liberties with their domestic arrangements. The glass that seemed half empty began to look half full as Milky Milky and Moley Moley began to churn out the runs in udderly irrepressible fashion . Deggsy compiled a classy 19 in a 10-over partnership that was to be the bedrock to the innings and Moley gave the Umpire Shep something to smile about with a final score of 111’

This fine century helped break the sequence and was a big part of Moleman's 351 runs for the season scored at 43 and more than double the next highest run scorer. He scored 349 runs in 2022 and 357 runs in 2023 so incredible consistency from our own run machine and pecker batting Cup winner Moleman

Traash hands over the batting cup to his former alarm clock, the Mole

The disheveled cousin of the pecker Batting Cup is the ferret award. Tail Enders were traditionally referred to as rabbits or bunnies but in old hunting days they used to send the ferrets in after the rabbits! A couple of players were lucky to have not played enough games to qualify. Multi -ferret-award winner Potty dropped from 2.67 to 2, and Mama Cass in his first two games managed an average of 0.5. In the full averages it was extremely close the reigning champion Snax boosted his average from 1.7 to 4.7 and was just ahead of Otto on 4.5. This year we have an Australian ferret, whh just lost out..7 innings 13 runs at 4.3 Chefrey Epstein

The Audrey Scovell Award goes to someone who supports the club wholeheartedly. Dupa has been incredibly generous sponsoring many Peckers Events, food at the Christmas do, a generous contribution today and threw his entire kit bag in for the raffle. He’s a top bloke and we are delighted to present him with this special award.

A new award the Liam Payne memorial award to the ‘party animal’ of the club. Pirrate and Horse were well nominated for their all-day binges at sporting events. When going through the reports most had photos of a horribly hungover Traash lying by the pitch exhausted. It’s been said he doesn’t do things by halves by managed to half his batting average and double his bowling. It’s been said the Trash is only going in ‘One Direction’ but he assures me he’s on a new health-kick for the 2025 season and determined to get the returns his talents merit

There is a lot to be done running the club and the Kindly Bueno award recognises those who have helped shoulder the load. Otto with printouts and fixture list, Moleman doing a great job on Play-Cricket and the Cat managing the Kit and Engraving duties. He gets a special bar for being the Kit Kat (Chunky)

The Clubman Award remembers Chris Rossi, a wonderful man we miss dearly. This year’s winner encapsulates the spirit of Rossi, as like Rossi he’s generally the first man to the bar (even when a student) and takes an enthusiastic interest in all his team-mates. He is also loved by all and a great Clubman, Groundskeeper Smeagol

After an all-day ‘lunch’ with Cat he got a bit carried away supping from the Cup -no damage done thankfully

We welcomed a number of wonderful new Peckers to the family in 2024. Plant and Princess the first fruits of the Mole Tree, Mama and Bison from that fruitful Spinach branch and Plotto and Scampi late in his jeans. This chap is the dashing svelte and talented cousin of Le Chat. Ollie ‘Beetle’ Dunger bowled sharply taking 5 wickets and making 100 runs in his two games. He was also delighted to win the grand prize of Dupa’s bat in the Raffle(which was brilliantly managed by the Old Horse)

Beetle was unlucky not have the qualifying criteria for the Owen-Browne Bowling Cup as were Smeagol with his 9 wickets at 5.2 and Potty with is 5 at 6. Sadly the averages proper didn’t match last year’s stellar bowling though. Spinach and Traash both got 14 wickets in the low 20s.

There was a turning point for Snax as he emerged from the bus at Latymer. He was enraged as he claimed a youngster sitting next to him on the bus has stolen his weed tin. We bowled first and as he was still furious but of remarkably clear eyes, so I gave him the new cherry to let off some steam. Hee bowled a beautiful spell, mesmerising the batsmen with full swinging deliveries. He took a brace of wickets four times and ended top of the bowling averages with 11 wickets at 20.

The motley cousin of the O-B cup is the Mr Kipling Buffet award. The Greasy Cat served up some tasty buffet but the clear winner. He was last year’s most improved player but the coaching wore off and perhaps distracted by turning 30 and proposing to Swedie, 2-145 -a 73 average at a mouthwatering 7.42.

There were some great catches to remember last season. Snax’s vital stinger in Game 2 off a hobbling Tiddles, Borgav’s one-hander at Ham. Novichok took a ‘diving in the dirt’ beauty to bring up Groundskeeper’s first 5-for at Kew was especially memorable for the riotous celebration that ensued. This Yorkshireman took two beauties including a nonchalant one-handed caught and bowled at Latymer

The Portuguese Tourist Board ‘Tourist of the Year’ award had many nominations , all for the apres-ski rather than the Cricket. Pirrate poured a lot of surplus money into the economy and in the midst of this frenzy Tiddles turned to him and said ‘This is a great way to spend my wedding anniversary’ He hit the biggest forehands at Padel and hoovered Cornettos, the lovable Tiddles

The Ducky Cup ‘underachievement’ award was inaugurated last year by Le Chat to honour his friend Merry’s tough year. Merry almost retained the trophy but made 49 in ‘that tie’ at Kew and his fellow-hobbit Pippin made a bid with 3 innings at 6. This year it goes to a ‘recognised’ all-rounder Otto who recorded the unfortunate stat of his bowling average of 45.5 being exactly 10 times that of his batting (4.5)

The room at the Avalon was lovely, the service excellent and the food absolutely delicious. We’ve uncovered a gem for future dinners

Time for the big award of the night the Woodpecker of the year. This Chap was incredibly lucky not to win last year when he took 16 wickets at 11.26. This year he took another 11, and a captain’s knock of 43* at Ham. He has introduced many fine Peckers to the club including Mama, Bison and Lightning this year. He’s always cheerful. loves the club and is very supportive of the Skipper. The 2024 Pecker of the Year is Spinach aka Espinaga and Chris.