Operation Barnes Common: Keep The Unbeaten Run Going

After a washout the week before against Barnes, Headley were the next opponent to be put into The Woodpeckers’ crosshairs… or so they should have been, was it not for a few too many of their team going AWOL. Pobsy quickly radioed Barnes’ High Command and quickly adjusted his sights back onto the theatre of war that is Barnes Common, with the added spice that 6th Columnist Bomber would be in their ranks.

As the storm clouds of war gathered, so did a squad of battle-hardened Peckers ready to extend their unbeaten run to 10 games. As we arrived Chefrey and Tiddles were working the heavy roller trying to improve the minefield of a wicket. Renegade Bomber won the toss and seemed delighted to insert The Peckers and prepared his Barnes troops to engage.

Cat & Mole lead the defensive line, with the latter falling early to direct fire from the high velocity arm of Wali. Cat fought back with 16 before ricocheting one back into his stumps.

Enter the big guns of Magic Carpet and Trash, but he was unable to to dig in, misfiring for 10. Fingers entered the fray at 30 for 3, and immediately seemed to be batting on a different wicket to his team mates.

Fingers’ GF Thumberlina & Pecker Daddy Beetle watch on expectantly

Cheered on by his sweetheart Thumberlina, Fingers raced to a high-calibre half century before Magic Carpet was gunned down for a spirited 26.

Back in barracks, Beetle was recounting a liaison with a rather attractive Royal Opera singer from the night before with Snax wondering if her oral talents transcended the stage…

It should be mentioned, however, that it was not the Opera singer that was spotted in Beetle’s living room at 3am with canons out and ready to fire…

Beetle then joined ‘his son’ and provided robust support before he was given his marching orders… quite literally by Barnes’ ‘Captain Haddock’ on 26, suggesting his long mop of blonde hair exceeded acceptable length or perhaps reminded him of an adversary from WW2.

From this point onwards, every time one of Haddock’s deliveries failed to meet acceptable length and were dispatched into the barbed perimeter, Beetle was sure to give his opposite man both barrels from the flanks of the battlefield.

Fingers continued to counter the Barnes attack with devasting efficacy, with mercenary “Barley Mow”, recruited from Headley, briefly engaging the enemy from the other end before Captain Pobsy joined his Ace Fingers in the heat of battle, ready to add further casualty to an increasingly looking shellshocked Barnes, who were incurring heavy losses. Bomber let loose, delivering a payload that struck Pobsy high on the front foot, but it was Umpire Cat’s trigger that sealed his Commanding Officer’s fate. (ironically the same end he triggered Botty to devastating consequences')

Fingers, realising that he was running out of reserves to fight on with, was joined by the first of the Commonwealth contingent Tiddles and increased his rate of fire with brutal result as he charged into triple figures and onto a final total of 135, which consisted of 25 4s and 2 6s. A truly remarkable innings of controlled aggression and flawless timing that exhausts superlatives

Chef went downtown twice and the Peckers registered a decent total of 246 all out.

Rations were had across the tracks in the Vine Café mess, featuring an M&S inspired Strawberries & Cream Sandwich, which despite being dubbed as “a bit odd” by Magic Carpet, was much enjoyed.

With hostilities resumed in the middle, it was Magic Carpet and Tiddles who began to strafe the opposition, with Tiddles finding an early edge, only for the porous Cat to spill the easiest of chances at 2nd slip which proved to be just the first instance of swift justice delivered by the Cricketing God’s for his treasonous act.

Tiddles pushed on, rifling the ball into the top of opener Keith’s off-stump and the peckers had drawn first blood, but Barnes’ counter offensive was strong as opener Mah and heavy hitter Zef cannoned the ball into the thorny surrounds.

Beetle and Snax were being overpowered until the former produced a jaffa to find the edge of Zef’s bat, and Snax also a cracker to bowl Mahar. Peckers were jubilant, not only for seeing the back of an extremely powerful striker of the ball, but as this meant Haddock was to come to the crease.

First ball, Beetle snared him on the pad with a ball surely destined for the pegs, but down on his knees for second time in 12 hours and unlike the night before, the finger never came.

In the office, Cat who following his drop and a further misfield had spent most of the day in exile on the ropes, had further embarrassed himself by going over his ankle in yet another fumbled attempt, and then shelled a sharp chance off the introduced Chefrey.

Fingers, Barleymow, Beetle, Cat, Traash, Mole, Tiddles, Magic Carpet….Snax, Chefey and Pobsy

Then a trio of vets combined to remove the lingering Haddock who was beginning to turn pungent. Pobs introduced Tid at slip and under the latter’s orders, Chef fired in a darter that Haddock flashed hard at. His favourite bunkmate threw out a right hand at close quarters and plucked the ball out from behind him. An absolute screamer. Whilst his reactions were rapid, it was the speed with which he galloped around the pitch to take in his much-deserved applause that was perhaps most surprising; Cornettos galore and another on Chefrey’s list. The Peckers fielding was superb which it has been all this season as the bonnet gathered dust, though Cat gave it a good warming today. Mapuddah nearly Snack-led a brilliant caught and bowled and the Magic’Nunfer’ Carpet went flying through the air twice at extra cover and deep mid-wicket to get a finger to what would have bean season’s best Persian Carpet.

With 3 Generations of Walpole in attendance, Henners makes his entrance with the battle looking all but lost with an almighty deficit of more than 120 runs to be clawed back with little time remaining. He started slowly as he tried to get used to the ‘idiosyncratic’ wicket.

He managed to hit sixes off Chef and Traash but 98 were still required off just 6 overs. Bomber slipped his plane into full throttle and hit fifteen off Chef’s next with towering blows into the trees. Skip wanted a change but Chef requested one more to remove his nemesis, Bomber repeating the 6441 dose for 15. He was now in full flow and the 32nd over bowled by Trash from the ‘Hacksaw Ridge’ Railway end and balls rained onto the railway tracks with Carnage seen at Hacksaw Ridge…66643…25 runs and suddenly the Commoners only needed 35 off three overs. Unlike King Canute, Henners turned the tide with 56 runs in less than 18 balls.

Pobsy gave Magic Carpet the unenvious roll of stemming the haemorrhaging of runs, but he bowled a great over as Beetle’s first ball back went for 6, meaning Bomber on strike and 22 needed off 11, and Barnes Common big favourites. Magic ‘Nunfer’ Carpet only went for 111 in his last two ( 7 overs 2 maidens, NUNFER 31! He’s hot favourite for the Cyoungy ‘most economical Pecker bowler’

A field change from Pobsy put Trash defending the railway line at long off. Henners went for a Kamikaze two thinking he was running to Chefrey and safety, but Traash launched the ball from the deep into the Mole’s gloves as he shot down the Bomber’s stumps from range and delirious scenes broke out on the pitch.

The order was too tall for the Barnes Common tail, but massive plaudits to Henners for a magnificent innings of 86 including eight maximums that nearly pulled off an incredible victory. For the Peckers, a great escape.

Shelter was found in The Coach & Horses just in time to watch the Lionesses win much like the Peckers: Ugly & Tense.

Over and Out. Cat x