After a country-wide washout of a league Saturday, it was with trepidation that Peckers were discussing the forecast for Sunday on the Whatsapp group. A brighter day was promised by the Met Office and it was under slightly less angry clouds that the team made the journey west to the bustling metropolis that is Marlow Park on a Sunday.

Having squeezed through Marlow suspension bridge and told the 10th cyclist of the journey what he thought of them, Chef deposited yours truly and the skipper in a large puddle behind the MPCC pavilion. As the bar was open and no other playing Peckers were to be found (Gav had arrived for his day of umpiring and photography in good time) it was decided that we should probably try the offerings from the local Rebellion brewery to pass the time. In true Sunday cricket style, players from both teams pushed their captain’s nerves by daring to turn up as late as possible, it was roughly 5 playing members that were present at the toss and this may have influenced the skipper’s decision to have a bat. As such, an opening partnership of Kamikaze and Moleman, born at the Worthys playing for Malmesbury U11s, got their gear on ready to do battle.

According to ChatGPT, “The primary goal of opening batters in cricket is not to score quickly, but rather to provide a solid and stable start to the innings.” - I don’t think this constitutes swiping wildly at every ball and getting caught at square leg off a long-hop less than 15 minutes into the innings, but we can’t all be perfect. A reprieve was almost granted by fine leg spectacularly rugby tackling square leg as he took the catch in a thud heard loud and clear over the din of the carnival music emanating from the park, but I had to make way for Pippin and get back to the moreish IPAs in the bar.

Peckers enjoying a rain break and the local ales

What followed was a period of stability with the bat from Moleman and Pippin knocking around the 1s and 2s, juxtaposed with some serious instability in the weather. After a series of coming off and going back on again, the game was agreed to be reduced to 35 overs a side.

As Moley was creeping closer to another 50 and shaking off the POTY curse for good, the Marlow bowler sent down a moon ball that “dipped late” according to the Mole and just managed to dislodge the bails. Unfortunately for Marlow the celebrations were short lived as all this did was bring in Akki, a man more customed to hard bouncy decks in Australia but didn’t seem to have much trouble getting going on a grass covered pudding.

When Pippin chipped up for a well-made 29, excitement peaked for the capacity crowd of travelling fans (Frohlich on her own) as Merry strode out to bat. He’d be the first to admit he hasn’t real ‘got going’ yet this year, but 2 sumptuous 4s (albeit one a run 4 following some buzzers) before top edging for 15 tripled his average on the year - there’s no stopping him from now on surely..?

Following a ball change from Marlow (chef very interested in proceedings here) and Traash getting out to one of the most disgusting shots seen in a fair old while in front of his mum on Pecker debut.

Akki passed his 50 – exceptionally refreshing to see a classical basement make runs with ease, long may it continue for the Peckers! At the other end, Greasy in his T20 gloves had just started hitting the ball off the square when Akki had to finally depart for 82. That brought in the skipper who promptly ran out the newly married man in a play described on the boundary as “absolutely brainless, depth of thought of an antelope” – no prizes for guessing the snappily dressed individual quoted.

Greasy not happy with the run out - Baron has heard it all before

There was only an over left tbf and the skipper was himself run out by Mr Skinner off the last ball much to Greasy’s delight. Peckers a respectable 273-8. A crisp-less tea was had and conversation turned to Clubman of the Year Cat and his latest recruitment drive, apparently he has found a handy dancer who can hold an end up and already has a Peckers nickname – Hagrid.

The bowling effort started with POBs looking round for seam options and he finally decided upon Greasy to begin proceedings from the river/carnival end. Fair to say it was an eventful first over, 15 from it, an enormous 6 and Mr Skinner headbutting the floor as he pushed one over the rope for 4. Things were looking better from the other end as the skipper stepped up and brought in a second slip for the anticipated wobble he would no doubt produce. Alas, no-ball 6 first up and a total of 16 runs ended his opening spell rather abruptly.

Due to the attacking nature of the Marlow batsmen, when Akki was brought on to replace POBs a deep cow was stationed from the start. The svelte figured chosen to boundary ride was Greasy and he repaid the faith with a quite magnificent catch, tossing it up as his momentum took him over the boundary and he leapt back in to secure the catch. This clearly lit a fire inside the publican as an over or two later he threatened to throw the ball at the other opener who was twice his size. Thankfully he engaged his brain and as the batter was walking off after spooning a caught and bowled off a slower ball, it was very much under his breath that Greasy let on “he was really starting to wind me up”.

Akki continued to bowl tightly picking up 2 textbook off spinners wickets and was only taken off to bring on the Baron to partner Chef. 2 tight spells from the spin twins were interlaced with some dancing in the outfield to the carnival tunes. A comedy wicket from Runky spared the game from really starting to drift like a ruderless ship, a slower delivery even for his standards was dragged onto the pegs – no celebration from the Baron for that one. Towards the end of Darling Runky’s spell Gav was finally called upon to make a decision from umpire, ‘decision’ might be a bit of a push as he had to reluctantly give the plumbest LBW you can get.

To keep the crowd and the fielders entertained the all-rounders were called upon by POBs, starting with the danger bowler Merry. Danger is definitely the word as he got three warnings in his one over for beamers, sadly he was promptly taken out of the attack by our skip who had realised 19 an over may make the game a tad tighter than hoped. In contrast, the halfling bowling from the other end had much more luck. Pippin took his first Peckers wicket and promptly took his second the very next ball! In came the fielders ready to snaffle an unlikely hattrick – full, wide and smashed by the number 11 for 4, normal serviced resumed.

Pippin’s 1st wickets brought squeals of delight…his brother didn’t join in the celebrations

The final few overs were sent down in a variety of different manners from Liam Livingston and Traash, all equally rubbish and it was with a dropped catch in the covers that Marlow finished on 192-9. A special mention has to go to Munch and the Marlow skip for solid rear guard efforts and capitalising on the deteriorating standard of bowling.

The winning team with Chef doing his best ‘Ashley Cole’

As usual, the teams shared post-match pints and the Peckers basked in our 12th win of the season, just three more to get the all-time record!

Much love & peckers up

Kamikaze xoxo