The final competitive fixture of the 2021 season, at the much vaunted Rotherfield Peppard in the beautiful Oxfordshire countryside, proved to be a marvellous occasion on a pleasantly warm afternoon, well attended by a number of loyal supporters, most of whom were canines of varying friendliness, who had got there even before their owners, having clearly got wind of the meat feast that was being planned during the course of the day on a well appointed dual BBQ pit that was to prove to be a contender for MVP. The final 11 (or 12?) proved an inspired selection, with two new debutant Hunter brothers adding youthful bench strength to the Peckers squad, hopefully for years to come, and the return of several players who could simply not resist the call to arms, one of whom even plays for our opposition (Richard “badger” Ashton, not to be confused with the other Pecker Badger on the clubs books). The only non Pecker to every come up with a Pecker nickname, and what a beauty…Otto
As with all pecker fixtures, it started with a WhatsApp group, but one with a difference…Our beloved leader, POB, resurrected memories of the erstwhile fixture of legendary repute in 2019, kindly sponsored by our great benefactor, the Dupa, that involved sourcing the finest charcuterie from the local village butcher ( It was noted on the WhatsApp by Felix the Cat, that Groundskeeper Willie was keen to “volunteer” to make a potato salad , which was news to him, having never cooked in his life… but he duly delivered. Felix was also responsible for keeping Caius and Groundskeeper up until 5 am the night before the game, having arrived back unexpectedly from Manchester after the test was called off, POB accommodated a 12th. He should know by now that a cat only has nine lives, and he is getting through them fast (more to follow later…)…Cat… life 1…and 2
The fact that we ended up having 12 players turn up to play on the day, was thanks largely to the persuasiveness of Otto (who sensed that the team clearly needed beefing up with the late recruitment of past pecker hero, Johnners from Doncaster with his three lovely girls, Zoe, Connie and Elsie. He’s worked at HQ for the ECB 17 years now
Johnners with his BBQ Utensil kit including Sausage Clamp -Harry expecting Texas Holdem?
Further recruitment from Groundskeeper, who had groomed the two pre-pubescent Hunter brother debutants during one of his stints “coaching”at their school, though he insisted there had been no “interference”.The problem was that the 12 players did not arrive at the ground at the same time, or indeed on time, to ensure that we could field first (12.30 start) without the need to attempt post-prandial exertion ourselves in the field… this resulted in a phone call to the opposition being planned by POB, at 12.25, to the opposition captain, from an unknown destination that was still some way from the ground, to request they lent us 6 players so we could take the field until our arrival… it took an incredulous sigh from Lupin, Felix’s pooch nestled by Patrick’s feet in the front seat of the car (as Lupin will not sit anywhere else it seems than in the front… life no 3, felix…), that this would really have been taking the piss… so the call was cancelled and our collective fate to bat first was sealed. It was also noted by POB that our arrival was already delayed by the earlier proclamation by Cat, that his pooch need door to door pick up service that added at least a full 2 minutes to the journey…. Life no 4,
And so to the actual cricket match….the batting order for the peckers was largely decided by who was available and not manning the BBQ (a task graciously taken on by Otto)…Muttley, who had earlier managed to compress a 5 hour work assignment into 15 minutes in order to make the game in time (I’m sure he’ll get a promotion for getting his priorities right!), did a stoic job of scoring 12 off a brisk and talented Rotherfield opening attack, having lost his opening partner, Felix, early on for just one…It was the quickest bowling we’d faced all season and poor Bagpuss really wore a few.
Bagpuss Bruise
The aforementioned departed and bruised opener then grumpily heckled the Peckers top order, in particular Greasy. POB keen for some peace and quiet kindly asked the Cat to umpire and he refused , words were exchanged and cat stopped umpiring after 1 over as he chose instead to wander over to a bench to watch the start of the grand prix on his phone (felix… life no 5)…
Otto started work early and 1st drinks break we had sausages -delicious
in came Hunter senior (debut nicknamed “seagull” by POB for no fathomable reason, that certainly had nothing to do with the Chekhov play, as some of us had naturally assumed, who managed to make a start before falling to a useful delivery …and then came a solid pecker middle order recovery from Oppo Badger (31), who clearly used his inside knowledge of the bowling attack and wicket, Greasy (24), who was played a watchful knock until being undone by a useful delivery that went through him,s stints “coaching”at their school, though he insisted there had been no “interference”. Obligatory Yorkshire man Rob with a solid knock (20) and Groundskeeper Willie (top scoring with 32), who was clearly buoyed on by the arrival of his mother, “Sweet Caroline”, who would make a fabulous supporting debut. The middle order benefitted from the provision of sausages straight from the BBQ at the 20 overs drinks interval, which appeared to be too hot to handle, a clever ploy by Chef Otto to cause distress to the ability of Rotherfield to bowl the rest of their overs as successfully as they had the first 20. Nevertheless, the Peckers were all out for 148, including the debut of 6ft 6 Hunter junior , debut nicknamed “roof rack”.
This was perhaps a par score (hardly Snax), had we not been about to sit down to the mother of all cricket teas… (in fact there was no tea to be seen - think butterfly legs of lamb,rump steak, sausages, burgers and chicken …), with Pob’s catererers discount of 60%… It was clear to the epicureans on the team, Otto and Snax, what would now be needed … sauces of course… and plenty of them …so work began on the eve of the great fixture to prepare the finest condiments, comprising chimichurri, BBQ, “kebab shop” chilli and mint.and a very decent salad each
Check out that Rump/Butterfly Leg of Lamb
There would be a price to be paid for fielding second on a full stomach…the reverberations would be felt by a number of players during the afternoon session on the field, particularly Muttley and Felix, who were having a private competition at keeper /slip to see whose farts were most evocative of the chimichurri (life 8, Felix?)… the gentle breeze meant that the the umpires were unaware of the chemical warfare being waged by our close in fielders and a change in wind direction meant that, like a herd of stampeding war elephants, the emissions were as fatal to ourselves as to the enemy…
Skipper sensing 148 was below par , Pob lobbied RP’s fun young lads to play “shot Roulette” on their first delivery as they had last year -they were keen and I got RP skipper’s sign-off -Otto bowled a superb opening spell until his groin gave way and we were reduced to 11 men again , having started the innings with only 10…??? The most honourable WAG Gemotty was at the ready on the boundary with the ice pack as Ottos recovery was deemed to be in “good hands”. The bowling mantle was then Greasy took the off stump early but then passed on to Groundskeeper, who ended up with super figures of 2-32. We really came into the game when I got Northern Rob/Johnners into the attack and he bowled a brilliant spell 8 overs 2-19. It seems that our best players on the day were also being supported by MAGs (Otto/Rob/groundskeeper) At the drinks interval we were perhaps favourites… we had them 80-5, chasing 148.
But then came the fatal error and Snax broke the “golden rule” and the herbage stash was breached on the field, partly in response to the opportune delay after one of the Rotherfield players had to retire with a painful blow to the wrist… the fielding display would then become mixed,… we once again looked to Oppo Badger for inspiration, who took a stunner on the boundary,_ we finally got a wicket from the shot roulette as an attempted reverse sweep/ dill scoop brought us another wicket lbw…and the loudest applause of the day from our lads , Cat got in the action with a quick wicket (but we simply could not budge Scotty-Mr Cricket. Rotherfield achieved their target in the 32nd over for the loss of seven wickets… could Otto’s groin have been the difference? Perhaps we’ll never know… but a well contested game played in the peckers spirit…
L-R Back Johnners, Pob, Muttley. Peppy Badger, Caroline, Snax, Zoe, Elsa, Mid -Connie, Gemotty, Otto + Harry, Groundskeeper, Seagull, Roof-Rack, Bagpuss + Lupin, Caius- Font Greasy + Myrtle -other 2 jack Russels' Myrtles mum and bitchy sister
The after game festivities continued outside the clubhouse for several hours, where “Sweet Caroline” was serenaded for her effort on a superb lemon drizzle cake, and duly rewarded by Pob with a G and T. It was a day that no one really wanted to end… as we clinged to the last vestiges of a wonderful summer in the fading light.
This was a fitting precursor to next weeks end of season party. Special thanks to Oppo Badger who co-ordinated the off cuts from the abattoir for the BBQ with POB . Welcome new peckers and MAGS…another wonderful day to remember !
Lupin and Harry truffle around for the remains of the day