Match report by Baby Peckerdown.
Dear Peckers, I am delighted to announce that the folk of Chiddingfold are abuzz with the latest gossip and it is my honor to impart to you: The Peckers have seen and have conquered once more.
As a virgin to the whole experience, I did well to avoid many things, but alas perhaps not the most challenging of circumstances – writing a match report about a cricket match involving unknown players with a minimum of 1 real name and 2 nicknames….
Let’s start at the beginning, and it was a lively one with both Spinach and Turnip steaming in. From behind the stumps balls were flying around the field and even Roger the self-proclaimed Peckers very own Jonty Rhodes offering little protection for the boundary rope.
Even Spinach’s inability to understand the concept of a gentle return to the keeper after an easy single, preferred to blaze the ball for overthrows. As the newbie the aggressive response by Pobsy was nothing short of all war, but my concerns of a bust up swiftly eased by my new best friend and clearly separated at birth brother Botty – more on this later.
With the Peckers fielding offering little resistance next came a moment of sheer genius when what I can only explain as a ‘Dumbledore of a figure’ emerge from the Pavilion to stride to the middle. Greeted by shouts of “you have 12 fielders already” the tranquillity was broken, but the home side soon had egg on their face when they realised the 12th man was actually their umpire dressed in full whites. The peckers however now had their man and Runky the secret weapon locked and loaded. We had been fielding with only 10… The full complement on the field Captian Pobsy’s war cry was now answered by Turnip who fired a ruthless legside delivery only for the opener to give it a tickle leaving yours truly to do the rest… The peckers had their start. 67-1 off 8 overs, and we were worried about a big score building
Now as the keeper elect for the week it’s nice to know what a bowler is about to do and with the secret weapon read to unload Botty prepped me for what was about to come. Steaming down the hill Runky gave the teenagers a torrid time, 8 overs straight of dazzling and confusing the kids a luckless spell by Runky was complete for only 22 runs. The fightback beginning he even managed time to stare down a 13 year old who I hope one day will get over it and hit the ball off the square once more.
At the other end a refreshed and revitalised Henners found his touch with the ball, the Woodpecker Elect curse banished, perhaps by Dumbledore, who knows… but he was on fire. 3 wickets and another catch by yours truly had Chiddingfold gasping for air.. The wicketkeepers union that was forming behind the stumps was momentarily put on hold for a lively spell as Botty turned his arm over, but given he drove from Somerset, allowed me the gloves for the day, was also a rugby player and is also married to a Chef I can only congratulate him for a sublime spell. Chapeau!
Other than Roger being banished to fine leg – think more Gary Rhodes colander rather than Jonty Rhodes fielding and cannon middling the ball with his knee as he dived for a catch the hosts batting effort was somewhat subdued with the Peckers attack dominating.
Had it not been for their Captain Woody batting throughout for 126 not out, a very kind total of 209 off 40 overs was set… BTW with a name like that surely a Pecker for the future?!With 20 years between innings it made perfect sense for Darty to open with the high flying Roger and his season average of 0.5… So off the peckers set about business of dismantling the total.
Roger’s getting married next month, and got to open with his best man, Darty
A very sensible and business-like opening partnership ensued until Roger invited Darty for a quick single. Mind sharp, body not and with 25 runs in the bank Darty decided with a so called ‘pantomime’ injury this was enough for his day, time to protect the average and he headed for an early shower. Out strode best mate Botty to take up the mantle and pick up the pieces. All was well until a ridiculous catch at square leg off a long hop meant that Bottys day was also done.
Eyeing up more marriages than runs for the season Roger harnessed a late-night pep talk from his fiancée and pressed on to 45 before playing around a straight one, a glorious bounce back.
This left the Henners and Karl with a K all the work to do. Whilst Karl was nursing a hangover at the other end Henners (84* off 45) decided it was time to tee off and test the local school’s roof by dispatching the ball to all parts of the village. There will be a fundraiser next year to repair the damage so stand by for details!
A massive cheer erupted as the game came to a close and Henners so excited with his MOM performance acknowledging the noise only to realise it was actually the local football club celebrating a goal for England – It’s coming home!! Maybe that curse had a sting in its tail after all, or maybe I just made this up…
The Peckers welcome the heroes, Henners and Quokka
Game won and celebration complete it was left to Pobsy who had fu*k all else going on to give Karl a new nickname ‘Quokka’ – not relevant to the game but worth you all knowing yet another nickname to learn.
After the game the untrained amongst us found out the Woodpeckers were actually trending in Perth WA and St Peters Cathedral in Rome on YouTube, a system called Frog-Box caught all the action live. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP1eWJ1lBDA&t=16355s for the full game, or on play-cricket you can watch all the wickets and boundaries https://chiddingfold.play-cricket.com/website/results/4597963
The day is never complete without a vegetable garden and the farmyard animals for support. All the excitement was mopped up like a sponge by Avocado, Plumsie, Swedie, Billy, Myrtle, Horse and his foals. Who would have known Chiddingfold has their very own Eric Hollies stand. We repaired to the Winterton Arms for several ales, and Runky who was very Peckish wolfed down some chips
A great day, a great win and a lovely tan! Well done everyone! Until next time…